Sometimes, God uses the smallest things to have the absolute biggest impacts. Darren has been helping in youth group. He is loving it. Last Wednesday, life and I were not getting along. The kids were nuts, the house was trashed, my nerves were shot. I just needed him to help. But, I also wanted him to be at youth group. So we decided we would all go. Talk about divine intervention. The message was on “doing hard things”. The idea was that often, those small things are hard, but those small things all add up to be big things. You always go into these situations thinking maybe you can bless and teach others, but its always me, who ends up being blessed and taught.
Right now, all the things seem like hard things. Im overwhelmed. I am tired. My brain is so foggy. I feel a pull in so many directions to do so many things and Im frozen. I dont know where to start. Im just….so overwhelmed. I sit here and stare. My brain and my body fight over doing and resting. And then I remember, that I need to do hard things. Just take a step.
I have been putting off really dealing with my diagnosis of POTS for several months now. Im scared. So many questions that come, with so few, solid answers. But, I just have to do small things, So, I started making appointments. This is a big step, because I have done this before, only to be ridiculed by doctors who dont know what POTS is. The doctors have never heard me before, so why would they now? But, I have to do hard things. So, I called my primary and made an appointment to discuss what referrals are needed. I called my eye doctor, and made an appointment so he can check on the health of my optic nerve, which is often effected in POTS. God is orchestrating details for me and I will be so excited to share those when they are a bit more solid. One big thing, is that I connected with another local POTS sufferer, who is guiding me on what doctors to see and where. This is so big! With so few medical professionals knowing what POTS is, knowing what to do after being diagnosed is difficult.
Im learning I need supplements and diet changes and activity changes and just so, so many changes. I want to retreat and hide. But, I have to do hard things. I am starting with what I know I can do. Im returning to eating gluten free. No cheats. Its a small step, in a long list of needed changes. But I have done this before and I know it helps. Im going to commit to 10 minutes of exercise a day. That probably sounds trivial, but to someone who’s heart rate is as fast as mine, 10 solid minutes is exhausting, without adequate blood exchange. When I have mastered these small steps, I will take another and then another, until I get where I need to be, wherever that is.
So, whatever your battle is, friend, go do hard things. Those small baby steps add up to a big impact. Dont let fear of the unknown cripple you. Just take one small step.